He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
