in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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