ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize