i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
