i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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