Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
