I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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