After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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