I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
His nipple licking is glorious
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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