youre lurking in front of me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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