Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
