we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
