I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
