i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
