Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
