Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
