You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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