I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
