just come out here and I will go home with you...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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