Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
