That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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