a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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