I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
