your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
now i know why i became what i already was.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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