420 ftw
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
