Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
