sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
