Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
