this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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