I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
