we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
