Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
