after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Randomize
