my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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