I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
