his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
