dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
