is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
