Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
