We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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