We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
