doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
