I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
