that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
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