Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
