I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
