he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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