I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
