He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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