this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
