nut hugger
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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