I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
