I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
