She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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