I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
