so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
