So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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