And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So apparently I’m into choking now
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