why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
