Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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