I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
