oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
