kristin has been a bad kristin
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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