After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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