um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
