You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
