Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
