You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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