I think I died a long time ago.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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