so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
