We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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